Another Major Cathing UP!!!

Whoa...it feels like forever since I last blogged. These days I have little spare time to blog away my life. Not that I try to brag my life off...but I really don't have much spare tie on my sleeve. This 2 months (July-August) supposed to be holidays...but Lord...I'm off busy doing things....my only holiday is just went to Solo-Jogja for 4 days, with Cen2 laoshi and Ma Feng laoshi...with ko Alex of course. And that's all! I break my record for having 2 straight week (including weekends and Sundays) going out for several occasions a day. I of course have to look out for BURAM n EXPO for HIMANDA....that takes up much of the time. Monday and Saturday every week. In between I have to attend dance class (no, I'm not dancing...I just came to check on), driving class, and hell lotta meetings...it almost kill me. On the last day on the second week (Sunday, August 16th) I finally gave up and went home. Just a day before, I'm sorry for fellow Literature Major friends to see me collapse after weekly meeting....I really can't help it.

Totally...it has been quite a week. Now I'm starting another week...and yes...1 week has passed including today (Sunday, August 30th)...I dunno 'bout next week but I think it will be the same. Why? I don't know why but people kept looking or me for anything. Not that I'm arrogant...but I don't know...I might need some rest...

Things on the personal realm has changed. I have found a new besties hahaha....we're getting along well...and funny things is that she is as busy as I am..even more than me exactly...and funnily too...we still manages to find sometime together...good for us eh? anyway...It's 3 AM already...I think I better went off to dreams land before it's too late...I have a hectic Monday anyway hahaha...I'm going to sing my voice out lout tomorrow...by doing karaoke with friends...Ok then...off to dream land!!!

Cathing Up

Been so busy lately...or busying myself to be correct. I'm always exhausted returning to my dorm. Almost every day of the week was spent outside and like having a job...I started at 9 and finish at 5..sometimes at 9...ouch! but I'm lovin what I'm doing anyway...

First of all...I have to recap my life since the last time I left of this blog (in Indonesian of course). My January was different...that's all I can say. I broke up with my ex and I broke up with my best friend (too). So then was a lonely time...so so lonely... And don't forget I have been "fighting" with another friend...which result in her hating me until January...then I got elected to be the president of our student body (HIMANDA)...I'm proud but stressed at the same time. Anyway my first ever on duty assignment is a big success...lovely! Thanks to Qing2 who acts as the leader of the event.

February is a turn point for me. My lovely friends needs me...so I fight my own sadness and literally the world...and I finally get a grip of my own life. I know what to do and I will do it no matter what...it continues until March-April. Literally I drive with a mach speed these month...I make up for the cloudy December...hahahaha. I'm steering a seminar which was lead by our cutest Yulia...and we break the record for attendance which is 110...and our Chinese Literature student is 400...so we manage to get 1/4 from it...usually we only get 25-35..congratulation to Yulia and team of course for the record breaking...but before celebrating...on the same week I wrote a research called "Chinese Students Response on HIMANDA's Class" which co-wrote with Netta and Non. I didn't manage to finish it...because I have only 10 days...yes 10 days only to write it and on the 6th day...I was told I'm going to Beijing...I was selected out of 80+ students to go to Beijing...and what's so frustating is Andyni Laoshi (our beloved Head of Major) selected me to "lead" the 16 students that was picked. Actually I'm quite angry...this was like escaping a lion entering a crocodile dungeon...but because she managed to persuaded me...I'm off to Beijing...For once in my life!!! I got a scholarship...hahaha...and I got it by my own ability. Something to be proud of huh? hahaha...I got a ticket to attend Youth Summer Camp in Beijing on Chinese Language.

Januariku

Bulan ini....bulan yang aneh. Berbagai hal-baik atau buruk- banyak terjadi disini. Kejujuran gw pun ditantang....kemampuan gw dipaksa utk dikuras....pikiran pun sama. Sulit memang...

Tahun ini aku memulai tugasku sebagai Ketua Himanda, himpunan mahasiswa di kampus. Ternyata semua tidak semulus yang diperkirakan...semua tugas menumpuk itu udah menunggu utk dikerjakan...

Cape. Satu kata yang menghinggapi gw akhir2 ini. Membuat gw sendiri menjadi kurang istirahat. Bahkan dalam 24 jam terakhir, gw hanya tidur 10 jam. Mengejar semuanya...mengejar pekerjaan, mengejar pelajaran....

Semua orang pasti akan merasakan depresi seorang pemimpin jika berada di kursi itu. Sekarang aku pun tak beda. Kesepian, kejenuhan, ketidak seimbangan mulai datang silih berganti di hari-hariku....aku mulai merasa penat...padahal baru sebulan aktif di jabatan ini...bagaimana nasibku 10 bulan ke depan?!

Tapi aku berterima kasih kepada adik2 di Himanda...dengan tawa lepas mereka, mereka membantu meringankan bebanku. Tak ketinggalan teman2 sejawatan...terima kasih utk kalian semua...Semoga aku bisa menjawab semua tantangan yang ada...

Ternyata...

Akhir taun ini bakal jadi unik. Gw kira taon lalu udah cukuplah siksaan yang dihadapi wahahaha...TERNYATA Tuhan berkata lain. Taon ini pun ga kalah asyik...wuih lebih menantang dan lebih gila...

Ada satu nama yang gw liat pun ga mao akhir2 ini...nama yang mengingatkan kalau gw terlalu menyayangi seseorang*seorang teman bkn pacar...* semenjak saat itu juga semua berubah. Satu per satu harapanku runtuh...entah mengapa...

Aku memulai tahun ini dengan 3 teman baik. Lalu seiring dengan waktu bertambah menjadi 7....karena sesuatu salah seorang dari antaranya ribut denganku....yang membuat satu lagi jadi mendendam padaku...tapi yang ribut telah kembali sedangkan dendam tetap membara di sisi lain...ada iri dan cemburu membakar teman yang lain...sampai2 berkt hal yang menyakitkan hati...

Sudahlah...taun ini taun yang indah secara umum...tapi diakhiri hal yang kurang mengenakkan...kuharap nanti aku bisa menatap malam di Bali pada akhir tahun ini dengan senyum...amin...

Ocehan2 ga jelas....

Ini beberapa dari hasil tulisan ga jelas gw. Yg pertama dibuat pas gw pegi LKMM dan yang lain kemarin waktu nongkrong 2 jam di starbucks sambil nungguin ratih dateng heuheuheuehue.

Light

I am searching through the air...
Speeding through the mist
But alas I have found none a soul
not to be with but to share with

In a dream flies a thousand butterfly
which can only soal in light
but alas...
I am of dark being lost in light

Guide me shall I Hope
Its my time running away
it slips through my fingers

as I catch the magnifying sense
I know the light will shed

but when it's here...
I wanted to make most of it...
My light, please stay...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Aku Tidak Mengerti

Aku tidak mengerti
Sebenarnya apa yang sedang terjadi?
Semua tangis itu...
Semua teriakan itu...
Aku tidak mengerti

Bertahan aku mengerang
mencari celah di kelam malam
hanya ketukan malaikat datang menemani
tapi aku tidak mengerti
karena sesuatu...
kupotong sayapnya!
kutikam hatinya!
sampai ia meringis kesakitan...

Aku tidak mengerti
Kucinta ketukan itu...
Kurindu ketukan itu...
Tapi kini hilang entah berpergi kemana

Aku tidak mengerti
Aku hanya ingin sediri,
biar awan kelabu menemaniku
Aku tak ingin begini...tapi apa dayaku?
Aku tidak mengerti....
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Dendam telah mengulumku
Hitam aku kembali tanah

betapa sulit cahaya datang
jika aku berdasar hitam

tersesat di dunia terang
di duniaku hanya ada merah dan hitam...
putih telah mati!

Tapi putih itu muncul menyinariku
Godaku, aku ikut, aku masuk
Hanya untuk menemukan semua itu runtuh di kepalaku...

Aku takut...
Aku takut tertimpa cahaya
Sakitaku membuatku membisu
Sekarang...
tinggalkan saja aku dengan hitamku
Agar nanti aku dan kalian tidak menderita
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Secercah isi hidupku

Pikirku melayang
terduduk aku bersimpuh
darah mulai menyembur keluar merayapi tubuh
kutakan luka itu dengan kedua tanganku...
darahku...tangisku...hidupku...
semua itu nafas jiwaku!
tanpa itu semua hampa.......

Paniklah aku
tapi apa daya...masih saja mengalir
Kuberteriak...menjerit...meraih
semua kosong...
hampa...

Cuma gelap bersedia menemani
Aku tahu ini salahku
Aku menusuk diriku sendiri!

Tapi takukah engkau?
Aku hanya memimpikan utopia....
sekarang jiwaku telah lelah...
lelah berteriak, lelah menangis, bahkan lelah tertawa
Bawalah aku ke seberang sana...
pergi ke utopia impianku...

English time

OMG...it's been hell lotta time since the last time I blogged...kinda miss it a bit. Newayz life has been busy lately with all the stuff that revolved outside me. First of all I must MUST MUSTTTT studied English which is a rarity in these past few years...kinda make me ill-toungued. My grammar is sucks...coz now my head is filled with Chinese characters so I need to translate it back to English which is hard...I hope with the time goes by my fluency will be back.

I spent the most exciting holiday ever...I went to Xiamen City in China and it was hell lotta fun! (well...not the lesson). I love the city...minus the hot air...and probably the rude people...and perhaps some foods. Neways despite a lot of hatred goin' on my overall trip was fun. I loved travelling...especially on my own hahaha...this time is my first time ever to go on a trip on myself...so kinda a milestone in my life.

A week of new semester has passed...and I had to admit...I hate studying. My mind constantly wanders around and it's so hard to concentrate. I knew I could do better but hey...I lost my concentration...argghhh I hate it so much that I wanted to throw my brains out.

Lately...out of the ordinary...I think about someone quite a lot! Which actually scares me...am I falling in love?! Jeez...I don't know...this love is not the romance cliche things...but the automatic feel to protect...to know deeper...weird huh?! Well I'm not so sure of that myself...definitely no romance but it's still weird though....

Puisi dikala insomnia menyerang

Tadi malem gw kan jalan...dan kebetulan memesan Starbucks' Caramel Macchiato...dan akhirnya kena degh gw...gw ga bs tdr!!! dan dikala gw despret spt itu...tiba2 kepikiran beberapa baris puisi. Emank mungkin cheesy tapi lucu aja gitu wkakaka. Alhasil tadi malem badan gw tidur dengan otak yg muter trus...omg cape bowz... Here it is, the poem to cure my insomnia :

I call upon a love
I call upon a lover
Quit me with love
Ode to me silently
be my love be my last

admist a summer he be a well
to quench my thirst of love
a true rest of life
be my saviour be my love

Seasons Of Love
A SPRING he will be,
for I was longing for the day to melt

A SUMMER he will be,
for I was longing for the adamant warmth

An AUTUMN he will be,
for I was longing for the breeze

A WINTER he will be,
for I was longing for the heaven to sink

A LOVE he will be,
for I was longing seasons to come and go...

Obsesi Lagu "Dia Milikku" By Yovie & Nuno

A : Semula, ku tak tau, engkau juga, ‘kan ingin, memilikinya.

Bukankah ku lebih dulu,
bila engkau teman ku,
sebaiknya tak mengganggu.

B : Bukankah, belum pasti,
kamu juga, ‘kan jadi,
dengan dirinya
Dia yang menentukan,
apa yang ‘kan terjadi,
tak usah mengatur ku.

A : Dia untuk ku, bukan untuk mu.
Dia milik ku, bukan milik mu.
Lihatlah nanti, lihatlah saja,
biarkan aku mendekatinya.
Kamu, tak akan mungkin,
mendapatkannya, karena dia,
berikan aku, pertanda cinta,
janganlah kamu banyak bermimpi oh…

B : Ku sarankan,
engkau mundur saja.
karena dia,
berikan aku, pertanda juga,

A: Mana pertandanya?????

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Ini beneran kejadian di salah satu chatroom loh. Lucu yah hohoho~

Untitled by Unknown

Buatmu aku melayang diantara angin
sekian termanggu pergi terpacu
kata tak terucap sampai ku pendar
terimaku untukmu tak ada jua
malaikat kecil menunggu

datang kepadamu malaikat terluka
pergi terpancar kau berlalu
lelah setiap waktu hendakku padamu
melayang di langit seumpama jalanku
tahan aku dalammu hari ini

terperjaranya relung hatiku padamu
pundak memikul lamanya dirimu
kiniku beranjak kasih beribu lepas
rasa tak teriris tak menggapaimu
posisimu berpindah ke tempat biasa

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Cuma sebuah rangkaian kata2 yg kerennnn banget (dan tidak terduga) dari seorang temanku :D

20 Maret 2008

Swt banget hari nie hahaha...pagi2 udah ditreakin ama bibi..."RAINA, DUDUS LEPAS!!!"...paniknya dia...akhirnya maksain bangun n ngejar dudus, anjing mini-pincherku...haduh konyol bgt. Dah celana gw kedodoran...ngejar bulak-balik...bused pokoknya keren degh...pagi2 dah tread-mill ampe kaki lecet2 hikz nie, ada pic tanganku yg digigit ama anjingku itu...
kliatannya segh kecil..tapi dalem men, sakit sih tp yah ditahan2 geto wkwkwkwkwk. Da geto kan janjian ma temen2 nie, tapi karna gono-gini ngaret jd jam 3an, asyik ada wkt buat bobo~akhirnya bobo degh. Akhirnya dijemput jg, trus kt ke Desa Gumati yg ndeso banget akakakaka. Cape agh disana...pelayannya lemotz banget...da geto fasilitasnya ancur banget2 deh. Puyeng gw kesitu tapi gpp deh, pengalaman...akakakak...dah lama yah ga ngisi blogkuw btw. Maybe sometime nanti gw bkl ngisi lg, bisnya akhir2 ni cape bgt. 2 Mggan yg lalu ampe tdr cm 4 jam saking satu minggu full banget...cape dah pokoknya hoho~

not much sigh skr...maybe next time